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Showing posts with label Relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationship. Show all posts

Saturday, September 7, 2019

Books,learning and humility


Evolution of civilization as well as sophistication of civilized evolution both depend on adaptation, adjustments, accommodation and assimilation of multiple ways of life and valuing the variety and virtue of variety passed onto us down the ages through various mediums, the first most effective and, perhaps the chief among them being books which recorded the sounds, spoken words, thoughts, ideas and events. Both our individual self and social self are to a large extent shaped by how we relate with others, things and our overall circumstances and how our contexts relate with us. 

Life is after all not mere chronology of existence but a meaningful topology of relationships. 

Life is not confined to and carried on within the matrix of mind and matter but it creatively works through communicating the connectivity between these two and how these two relate with everyone and everything.


Actually more number of people read more topics on various platforms starting from print media like newspapers, pamphlets, text books, books of various genres to heavy reading through electronic media in the form of mails, social media messages, E-books etc.

But then, what has to be known really is

What they read?
Why they read?
How they read?
How they use or benefit from what they read?
 How much they read?


The answer to the above questions will provide information that may enable us to knowabout the interests and intentions; to understand the influence and impact; to grasp the intrinsic importance; to interpret  the importance of intrinsic values; to entertainwith imaginations; to indoctrinate through injecting sensational ideas and sensitive and biased judgmental opinions ; gradually to educate everyone to evaluate [with contextual relevance] the utility or futility of all that is being read; to discern  to observe  intelligently; to achieve academic excellence ; to learn  to internalize great ideas and instructions; to expand the  spectrum of our conscious awareness wider  to perceive with philosophical perspective; to peruse everything with proper measurements and finally to enlighten us to engage in creating in a scholarly, scientific and saneway with a sense of responsibility and sense of balance the sources of synergy through creative and effective communication.


Certain terms have been underlined and rendered in bold letters [almost as a wordle] because they are in fact the preferred and prioritized outcomes of most readings and book centric learning.




We all must humbly accept that we learnt some or all of the above underlined aspects; or still in the process of learning or perfecting or enhancing the quality and quantity of what we have already learnt.


It was mostly through our reading them in books or listening to and learning from those who have read and passed them on. Learning is a lifelong process.



So, as Dani Johnson says, “Never stop being teachable. If you think you know everything, you will never learn anything.”



Inquisitiveness and inquiry are the eternal springs of human psyche and it is through this stream that flows from the springs that traces of ignorance are washed away


Writer is also one humble, curious and unbiased observer of synergy and synthesis, either occurring as an aspect of evolution or consciously effected through a culture of compassion, that enable to understand better the inter connectivity, interrrelatedness and interdependence of living as a whole.


















Life is an unmapped atlas consisting of unexplored territories and a jig saw puzzle where we are not even sure whether all pieces are available in the box and what shape to create.
Reality and the real reasons of life or living are not uniform or predefined and hence, are not that easy to grasp because besides what has been stated above life is involved in the constant process of churning called living which is dynamic in the cauldron of social life [ the multiple shapes , size and  material of which this cauldron is made of is also not fully known].
Add to these what is the kirn- staff or churning stick [that is evaluation tool used to churn] is also not known.


So, reality is reality with all its multiple facets and faces; dimensions and dynamics; polarities and probabilities; positives and negatives; victors and victims and so on. We try to grasp it, give it various names depending on how we perceive and relate based on our attitudes and perspectives.
After all life is a constant process of learning and adjustment wherein we can neither deny nor defy the importance of anything or anyone.
Evolution goes about its jobs unmindful of whatever we do or do not do, that decides and determines everything including our birth and death as biochemical organisms which are bound to decay or to die or to reorganize or to be reborn or to recreate into something else eventually.
While innards and inherent qualities are inevitable and beyond our choice, at least, our utilization of strengths /reactions to shortcomings can be sane and more sensible in short our MINDSET, and that is what must be the attempt of any subject be it philosophy, spiritual science or pure science.
Evolution has ensured that human beings as a species have moved from kuru disease contacting cannibals to cyber gurus.
So, it becomes obvious that we cannot analyze anything through any templates of ideological fixations or subject it to satisfy socio- political or socio-cultural or religious justifications.
We must also know that everything has its own inherent attributes, intrinsic values, internal mechanism and logic for its existence besides, beyond, exclusive of and unmindful of human intellectual justifications, acceptance, acknowledgement, social or religious approvals, political support  and therefore , it is purely absurd to extrapolate anything with specific ideological fixations.


Saturday, September 17, 2016

RelationShip

RelationShip is one of the many ships that float or sail through in the ocean of life.

Various factors are important, impact and influence different relationships at different times.

So, we need to understand the context, content, character and contribution of each and every relationship in proper perspective, rather than making over simplified or over general statements involving the word relationship.



I am against usage of terms loosely as well as following things ritualistically without inner involvement.

Most of us human beings are vulnerable to slogans, statements and scriptural justifications which block our original thinking, proper evaluation and interpretation of  many things in proper perspective and contextual relevance

Sunday, February 28, 2016

Meetings need not be boring -why?





















When I read this word ‘meeting’ immediately three things or three ‘Cs’ come to my mind i.e. Connotation, Context, Content.

Connotation of the word used;

Context in which the word ‘meeting’ is used or to be more precise context of the meeting;

Content i.e. the purpose or intention or meaning of the meeting.

This leads us easily to or rather quickly to know that the problem is not with the ‘meeting’ itself.

The problem is with what it referred to? Or what meaningfulness is impregnated to the event called ‘meeting’ sometimes also referred to as conference, seminar, brainstorming session and so on?

Here we are obliged to further ensure that the word ‘meeting’ is used in the context of corporate or collective social  gathering, otherwise romantic and friendly meetings over the week end and other similar get-togethers are interesting and voluntary.

It definitely means some sort of conventicular gathering to communicate with some common agenda conducted either in real structure or nowadays through virtual electronic media.



There are many components and aspects to meetings but there is one common factor for all those participating in meetings in whatever capacity or position or post. And that is -Time.

So, we need to address and be clear about what is time.

Cliché is Time is money –then it is mere currency- if so, we can get it anyway.

Stereotypical portrayal is Time is life- then it is mere chronology not in our control- if so, what is the use of bothering about it anyway?

Time is mind or mind space that we give to something or someone at certain times depending on the trade off we get out of it; the pleasure we derive out of it; the purpose we need out of it; the enhancement to some aspect of life that we derive out of it; the inevitability of giving it as a matter of fate-without psychologically wanting to -which is the worst scenario as in crisis or calamity or conditions of depravity.

We need to accept the common aspect of all is Time and understand what is really meant by the word Time.

Then, we can work out on all components of a meeting and make it meaningful.

Let us be clear that beyond the inevitable, official and formal requirement or terminology and the following aspects, namely, agenda, intention, purpose, debates, brain storming, conferences, seminars and goal need not necessarily have to be common to all participants in any meeting.

Or even if they do they may mean different things to everyone or at least may have varying degrees or intensities of importance or influence or impact for everyone.

When we take all these into consideration we shall ensure two way or multi-channel communication with clarity and achieve the intended purpose or meaning.

I intentionally refrain from using the words achievement or goal because then it implies that we are a mere tool to cause something and not the part of it either becoming or being part of it.

That does not mean that achievement or goal is not to be wished for or inadequate by themselves, they are undoubtedly motivating posts to be aimed for and attempted.


But when meetings transcend beyond results into mutual and ‘mental space time imbued relationship’ with whatever we do and with whomsoever we do then it is impregnated with more passion, maturity to deal with dispassion and meaningful compassion.

I am reminded of what Sri Sri Ravishankarji of the Art of Living answered spontaneously to a question posed by someone on how to deal with expectations or over expectations, at an event called ThinkEdu16 held at Chennai in Feb 2016

He used just three very effective words. He said, “You definitely need 'Passion' to perform effectively but 'Dispassion' to carry on with shortcomings and failures. He said when you succeed in Passion you enjoy, when you have this 'Dispassion' then you do not 'hate yourself' between these two if you have 'Compassion' then you do not hate or blame others. So he said you need Passion, Dispassion and Compassion -all the three.”




Life in general is defined and determined to a great extent by how we relate with ourselves, other people, events, activities, ideas, emotions, choices, decisions, things, ideals, thoughts and so on.

But primarily there must be at least some sort of ‘mental space time imbued relationship’ and not a mere remote wish or dry proposal without any relationship.


When this sort of ‘mental space time imbued relationship’ is created then that by itself generates greater involvement and commitment beyond externally enforced motivational materials and speeches.

That’s why we see people toil hard and crave for ideological identities and emotionally appealing activities more than they do for work or job or employment that they are paid for and because of which they eke out a living.

That’s why people never allow schooling to restrict their learning or office to interfere with their other works.


Still better when this sort of ‘mental space time imbued relationship’ becomes a sort of habitual environment then the communication itself graduates in status from being merely an activity from brain to brain, goes beyond heart to heart and  settles as heart to heart beat.



Therefore, when a conducive atmosphere involving this sort of ‘mental space time imbued relationship’ exists meetings cease to be boring and instead an event that everyone will be eagerly looking forward to happen.

Novelist Sinclair Lewis started a lecture to a group of college students with: “How many of you really intend to be writers?” All raised their hands. Then he continued thus, “In that case, there is no point in my talking. My advice to you is: go home and write, write, write….” With that, he put back his notes in his pocket and left.

With a quote of Swami Vivekananda, “It is our mental attitude which makes the world what it is for us. The whole world  is in our minds”, let me end now and discuss about how to make meetings meaningful and less boring later on.

I would like to share some links which I feel are relevant to some aspects of meetings discussed above including factors to make them more interesting.










Every relationship is a many faceted splendor and all the facets together contribute to the splendor, whether it is with persons, books, movies, any art, music, culture, tradition, gadgets, environment, vehicles or anything.
  
The splendor is revealed depending on what lights we use to see these facets. The bright lights are good attitudes, adjustments, aesthetic appreciation, compromises, collaborations, co-operation, contentment etc and the dark lights are confrontations, control and command mode behavior patterns, ego generated competing, manipulations, scheming, politicizing, hidden agenda, simmering discontent, lurking suspicions, ulterior motives, ingratitude etc   etc











Saturday, July 25, 2015

Relationships and values

Refrain of the poetry of  life and relationships.

Life is universal energy manifested through various vibrations.

Every vibration of every action or reaction or situation is based on relationship i.e. how we relate to/with other persons and things and every relationship is based on reciprocation.

I feel in the ultimate analysis everything is about how we relate with others, with things, with ideologies, with various identities, with the whole environment etc that is going to determine our role and relevance in the world and in our own life. 

The poetry of life and relationship in general has some inherently important, interesting and inevitable refrain. They are broadly as given below and therefore during the course of this write up they may be repeated often:-

1. That everyone and everything is interconnected, inter related and interdependent in at least some aspects and with varying degrees of intensity.

2. Everything must be evaluated based on contextual relevance and contribution to life as a whole [which implies the whole physical environment as well as psychological and social environment].

3. Every aspect of life has its own intrinsic and inherent attributes/merits which must be smoothly aligned with life and its myriad relationships through proper attitudes.

It is preferable to immerse any topic or subject matter, primarily and basically with its intrinsic elements/components/aspects/attributes intact, into a cauldron which has a mixture of all these- knowledge based analysis, limited perception based on frames of reference and scales of observation, skepticism , criticism, intellectual scrutiny, compassionate emotionalism, humane socialism, rational thinking, contextual relevance [ which includes too many components] , traditions, practical viability, psychological comfort, aesthetic sensitivity, scientific scrutiny etc and churn the cauldron without clinging on to any particular restrictive social, cultural or political or religious identity.

This process inevitably will bring out lot of outputs. We can exercise our freedom and sometimes select and choose some of the outputs. Sometimes the outputs will draw us.

Sometimes away from all or any of our intended searches and seeking, outside the circle of these known paradigms, almost tangentially serendipity will drag us to an oasis of serene clarity.

At all costs the intrinsic attributes must be the predominant factor so that whatever is thrown into the cauldron and however it is churned, the ultimate output must include those attributes so that evaluation is not distorted or desperately doctored to fit into any predefined and expected outcome.

So what pans out ultimately depends on various factors and aspects some of which are explainable within the ken of logical and rational thinking but some are beyond these.

We can also observe uneasily how the human intellect polished by a rare faculty [compared to other species] of conscious awareness, capacity to think, store the knowledge, retrieve it for reference etc, is mostly, unwilling to take the risk of accepting the uncertain; the intellectually undecipherable and the inexplicable outcomes, even if such acceptance is branded, extolled and promoted as virtues of humility or modesty.

All said and done life has to be enjoyed through living and relationships have to be experienced in the churning process of life. We cannot mask them with any mumbo- jumbo or avoid them through any other means, imaginations, dreams etc however well packaged or marketed or sanctified they may be.

What is happening to relationships now?

Unfortunately, to use the commercial jargon, there is a paradigm shift in viewing relationship by some people of the present generation.

They compartmentalize relationship into different categories. They categorize relationship on a graph as useful, usable, allowing to be used and proportionately their different relationships get disturbed, degraded and destroyed. The more and more they allow themselves to be used for something by someone then it can gradually lead to depression and can at times even become deadly.

They think if betrayal can benefit why not give a kick to gratitude. They have no qualms about placing selfish personal comforts and gratifications over everything else.

That’s why relationships are researched with more emphasis on the prefixes and/or suffixes that are attached to them like marital relationship, professional relationship, family relationship, emotional relationship, intellectual relationship etc.  

These prefixes /suffixes indicate certain specific situations/contexts and certain elements /aspects/factors which predominate in a relationship. They do not define the totality of a relationship. For example in a professional relationship one may not deal only with purely professional /official matter one will also be concerned about the personal welfare or circumstances either sad or happy one of the other with whom one is professionally engaged. Similarly by emotional relationship it does not mean just any particular emotion but also all other factors that form part of the relationship.

Relationships are not nets meant to get entangled but great networks of connectivity to catch completeness and gain from totality of everything because all are interconnected, inter related and interdependent in at least some aspects and with varying degrees of intensity.

But all relationships irrespective of the prefixes and suffixes they carry are based on certain time tested universal principles and certain humane values, it is these values which are the many facets that give the shine to relationships.

Living with certain humane values in our day to day life is worthier than any other great achievement. We do not need any expertise or special qualification or sanctions to practice these values. For example sentiments of caring and sharing, if not towards all, at least towards people related to us and whom we come across in life is very important because the impact of such values and principles are too tangible, stark and stinging at times.

Even when we are aware of all the components of relationships we cannot either make collages or collations and deal with relationship but as mentioned earlier life carries on its constant churning process through various aspects and unfortunately we are aware of only some aspects because of our selective frames of references and all other limitations.

So we must strive to live by certain positive values that we may have inherited and/or acquired and also try our best to bequeath the same to our children.

Very often people take the route of blaming the circumstances becomes an easy excuse and say because of various sufferings, problems, frustrations, failures etc they could  not lead a  life with certain positive values. Similarly some people who become a little prosperous in their life either in power, pelf or position, they  let everything disappear under their super imposing ego which gets so inflated that they are clouded by a false sense of immortality to external things quiet oblivious of the mortal frame which houses such ego. 

What no one realizes is that we are all after all we have a mortal frame made of biochemical organisms which are bound to decay and die one day and even that like our birth is, in most cases, not chosen by us,  but happens all the same.

Reality is harsh and humbling in many ways. All of us always do what we can, what we want to and what we are destined to do. At times one or some of these things predominate over the rest. But irrespective of any of these three i.e. what we can, want to and destined to do, the platform from which we perform them are our inherent attributes and our attitudes.

Unless these two are tuned properly the frequency at which we may encounter life will be jarring and make us realize things the very harsh way.

So, living with certain humane values at all times preferably with everyone is the best reciprocation we can make to the other souls.







On attitude

ATTITUDE CALENDAR





Friday, December 12, 2014

Relationships

I feel in the ultimate analysis everything is about how we relate with others, with things, with ideologies, with various identities, with the whole environment etc that is going to determine our role and relevance in the world and in our own life. 

It is preferable to immerse any topic or subject matter, primarily and basically with its intrinsic elements/components/aspects/attributes intact, into a cauldron which has a mixture of all these- knowledge based analysis, limited perception based on frames of reference and scales of observation, skepticism , criticism, intellectual scrutiny, compassionate emotionalism, humane socialism, rational thinking, contextual relevance [ which includes too many components] , traditions, practical viability, psychological comfort, aesthetic sensitivity, scientific scrutiny etc and churn the cauldron without clinging on to any particular restrictive social, cultural or political or religious identity.

This process inevitably will bring out lot of outputs. We can exercise our freedom and sometimes select and choose some of the outputs. Sometimes the outputs will draw us. Sometimes away from all or any of our intended searches and seeking, outside the circle of these known paradigms, almost tangentially serendipity will drag us to an oasis of serene clarity.

At all costs the intrinsic attributes must be the predominant factor so that whatever is thrown into the cauldron and however it is churned, the ultimate output must include those attributes so that evaluation is not distorted or desperately doctored to fit into any predefined and expected outcome.
So what pans out ultimately depends on various factors and aspects some of which are explainable within the ken of logical and rational thinking but some are beyond these.

We can also observe uneasily how the human intellect polished by a rare faculty [compared to other species] of conscious awareness, capacity to think, store the knowledge, retrieve it for reference etc, is mostly, unwilling to take the risk of accepting the uncertain; the intellectually undecipherable and the inexplicable outcomes, even if such acceptance is branded, extolled and promoted as virtues of humility or modesty.





Sunday, March 9, 2014

perversion and relationship





It is all perversion and in extremely bad taste. Relationship ,all relationship is not about confrontation, competition, callous condemnation or damaging domination it is all either putrefying relationships or petrifying progress and at best puerile perversions but real relationship , it is all about reciprocation, collaboration , co operation, complimenting each other etc. Today I wrote this a few minutes ago ,it [including the links within and books referred ] deals with the many manifestations and the grand gamut of relationships and identity , how they are interconnected and interrelated. The whole world is going through a churning process and people pick all the rot that gets to float on top thinking that is the essence.Dr. Brian Weiss says, "We are not icebergs floating separately—we are the water that connects them. We are all connected to each other" and “The consciousness in you and the consciousness in me, apparently two, really one, seek unity and that is love.”
-Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

http://contentwriteups.blogspot.in/2014/03/identity-and-reality.html

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

What are relationships all about ?


What are the natural attributes of good relationship? What are the culturally/regionally injected/expected ingredients of a relationship? What are the petty generalizations within which most of the intellectual elites liberally like to confine and define relationships as if it is merely a social issue? And so on.

Aren’t most relationships, especially, conjugal ones, more to do with primarily addressing and satisfying purely personal issues connected with one’s body, mind and spirit?

But in the process we end up mixing so many factors while what really matters in any relationship is the personal rapport, it could range from specific task/expectation fulfilling deal or sublime and unqualified love or logically indefinable devotion etc.

Here I am giving links to some of my old write ups some talk about relationship in general; some the much maligned status of women in family and social relationship; some reflect my very personal emotional relationship wherein I find ways to justify all types of behavior and one important tool which intrudes to define many relationships, namely Morality etc.

Read all of these when you have time and respond







7] MORALITY