The Basic Principals of Operations Management
Validated daily by experiences of working folks everywhere…
Allen’s Axiom:
When all else fails, read the instructions.
Chisholm’s Law:
Anytime things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something.
Corrigan’s Theorem or “Jam Side Down”:
If there is more than one way in which a system can operate, it will usually operate the wrong way.
Finagle’s Law:
Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse.
Fitzgibbon’s Law:
Creativity varies inversely with the number of cooks involved with the broth.
Fitzgibbon’s Corollary:
The number of problems encountered during a project is directly proportional to N squared, where N is equal to the number of people involved.
Flaple’s Law of the Perversity of Inanimate Objects:
Any inanimate object, regardless of its composition or configuration, may be expected to perform at any time in a totally unexpected manner for reasons that are either entirely obscure or completely mysterious.
Gummidge’s Law:
The amount of expertise available for a given project varies in inverse proportion to the statement understood by the general public.
Gumperson’s Law:
The probability of a given event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.
Horner’s Five Thumb Postulate:
Experience varies directly with the value of the equipment ruined.
Kyrie Liason:
If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, then you don’t understand the problem.
Maslow’s Maxim:
If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to treat everything as though it were a nail.
Murphy’s Law:
If anything can go wrong – it will.
Occam’s Razor:
The simplest explanation of any phenomena is probably the correct one.
Parkinson’s Law:
The time required for a project varies to maintain the utilization of the manpower allocated close to one-hundred percent.
Patrick’s Theorism:
If the experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.
Perdin’s Law:
In a crisis that forces a choice to be made among alternative courses of action, most people will choose the worst one possible.
Porteous’s Proposition:
One million times nothing – is still nothing.
Richard’s Rule:
When all else fails, fake it.
Ross’s Law:
Never characterize the importance of a statement in advance.
Salute to Nixon (remember him?):
Quit when you’re still behind.
Shanahan’s Law:
The length of a meeting rises with the square of the number of people attending.
Sod’s Law (Prevails when Flaple’s Law does not hold):
In any given set of circumstances, events will combine to provide the maximum of inconvenience for the greatest number of people.
Skinner’s Constant:
That quantity which when multiplied times, divided by, added to, or subtracted from the answer you got – gives you the answer you should have gotten in the first place. Also known as Finnegan’s Finagling Factor.
The Compensation Corollary:
The experiment may be considered a success if no more than fifty percent of the observed measurements must be discarded to obtain a correspondence with theory.
The Futility Factor:
No experiment is ever a complete failure. It can always serve as a bad example.
The Ninth Law:
The simpler, smaller and less ambitious a project is – the harder it is to justify, the harder it is to implement and the less well it will perform.
Validated daily by experiences of working folks everywhere…
Allen’s Axiom:
When all else fails, read the instructions.
Chisholm’s Law:
Anytime things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something.
Corrigan’s Theorem or “Jam Side Down”:
If there is more than one way in which a system can operate, it will usually operate the wrong way.
Finagle’s Law:
Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse.
Fitzgibbon’s Law:
Creativity varies inversely with the number of cooks involved with the broth.
Fitzgibbon’s Corollary:
The number of problems encountered during a project is directly proportional to N squared, where N is equal to the number of people involved.
Flaple’s Law of the Perversity of Inanimate Objects:
Any inanimate object, regardless of its composition or configuration, may be expected to perform at any time in a totally unexpected manner for reasons that are either entirely obscure or completely mysterious.
Gummidge’s Law:
The amount of expertise available for a given project varies in inverse proportion to the statement understood by the general public.
Gumperson’s Law:
The probability of a given event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.
Horner’s Five Thumb Postulate:
Experience varies directly with the value of the equipment ruined.
Kyrie Liason:
If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, then you don’t understand the problem.
Maslow’s Maxim:
If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to treat everything as though it were a nail.
Murphy’s Law:
If anything can go wrong – it will.
Occam’s Razor:
The simplest explanation of any phenomena is probably the correct one.
Parkinson’s Law:
The time required for a project varies to maintain the utilization of the manpower allocated close to one-hundred percent.
Patrick’s Theorism:
If the experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.
Perdin’s Law:
In a crisis that forces a choice to be made among alternative courses of action, most people will choose the worst one possible.
Porteous’s Proposition:
One million times nothing – is still nothing.
Richard’s Rule:
When all else fails, fake it.
Ross’s Law:
Never characterize the importance of a statement in advance.
Salute to Nixon (remember him?):
Quit when you’re still behind.
Shanahan’s Law:
The length of a meeting rises with the square of the number of people attending.
Sod’s Law (Prevails when Flaple’s Law does not hold):
In any given set of circumstances, events will combine to provide the maximum of inconvenience for the greatest number of people.
Skinner’s Constant:
That quantity which when multiplied times, divided by, added to, or subtracted from the answer you got – gives you the answer you should have gotten in the first place. Also known as Finnegan’s Finagling Factor.
The Compensation Corollary:
The experiment may be considered a success if no more than fifty percent of the observed measurements must be discarded to obtain a correspondence with theory.
The Futility Factor:
No experiment is ever a complete failure. It can always serve as a bad example.
The Ninth Law:
The simpler, smaller and less ambitious a project is – the harder it is to justify, the harder it is to implement and the less well it will perform.
