International Day of the Girl Child

                       

          International Day of the Girl Child

Various issues connected with girls need to be looked into and whole world needs to be educated that a girl is also a human being only then we can ensure that girls get educated.

As daughters and as women when they advance in age and take up different roles or perhaps assigned various roles in most societies.

Throughout history we see them undergoing many hurdles most of which are clandestinely slipped in through hypocrisies and hidden agenda of  social bias and most of it in the name of tradition, culture, religion etc.

Most of these are ingrained through centuries of indoctrination based on either inadequate knowledge of difference between biology and gender or purposeful exploitation perpetrated on a more tolerant gender.

Treatments, taboos and tortures vary from territory to territory but they are there.

We need to generate lot of actual data on societies which have prospered due to educating the girls.

First we need to learn a lot more about sex and gender; the various sexes and possible genders; each gender’s unique problems and powers; in short we need to socially evolve into more tolerant beings.

I would like all to go through these interesting and informative links to know more about gender

http://www.dailyo.in/variety/what-do-sex-and-gender-really-mean-transgender-identity/story/1/5290.html

http://edge.org/event/the-science-of-gender-and-science-pinker-vs-spelke-a-debate

http://bigthink.com/videos/your-behavior-creates-your-gender-

[Especially do not miss to read the comments section in the above link as there are many excellent revelations]

I have noted below some observations as and when they occurred to me when either I came across some issue in some debate, article or in personal life and penned down my thoughts.

This I wrote when I came across people treating girls not as human beings

http://contentwriteups.blogspot.in/2013/12/life-or-product.html

This I wrote when I saw daughters were treated with bias

http://contentwriteups.blogspot.in/2015/04/daughters.html

This I wrote when I when I noticed how no one showed any concern about the massive biological inconvenience called menstrual period occurs. 

http://contentwriteups.blogspot.in/2014/03/periods-parents-and-society.html

This I wrote when I there were objections to fashion parades in the late 80s

http://contentwriteups.blogspot.in/2010/11/what-is-wrong-with-fashion-parades-how.html

This I wrote when I felt there were a whole lot of issues which were entangled with lack of freedom of women

http://contentwriteups.blogspot.in/2014/07/womens-freedom-and-feminism.html

 Next time when you get that string gender bias think of this genetic symptom getting into your system

http://product-boy.com/2011/08/06/select-population-of-females-turn-into-males-during-puberty-growing-male-genitalia/

http://www.researchgate.net/publication/267835413_Sexual_Differentiation_of_Human_Brain_and_Behavior

 ["Many authors use gender for constructs that are social and sex for constructs that are biological. Nevertheless, most of the authors use the terms sex and gender interchangeably (Hines, 2002).]

Social construction of sex

http://www.everydaysociologyblog.com/2009/08/the-social-construction-of-sex-intersex-as-evidence.html

Clear text book like explanation of difference between sex and gender

http://www.srwolf.com/dialectic/Chapter3.htm

Daughters

The first statement '"We'd rather spend more on daughter’s wedding than on her education." stands true.

Not only that this statement also makes us reflect on lot of stupidities that we fail to acknowledge leave alone accept and rectify. They can be broadly classified as

1.    The way we treat small girls either as daughters or as sisters or as students in schools.

2.    Our obsession with marriage of a girl as if that is the only role of evolution or social obligation or sacred duty bla bla.

3.    Our lack of attention to our role as a parent. Do we pay the same amount of attention as give to our profession, hobby etc. Parenting involves three important Ps:- patience, perception of your child’s/children’s inherent attributes, passion to participate and enjoy watching them grow.

1.    Small girls- how we treat them and why we do so?

We have to accept with shame that we have not learnt to give them freedom to enjoy, express and experience life in their own terms with their own sensible or stupid approaches. We try to monitor, remote control, discipline etc whatever be the proclaimed justifications; it is still, interfering with the freedom a soul. So we are all , I mean the elders, especially most Indians are committing a very big mistake/vice [in in the name of parental responsibility, social discipline, traditional practices, sometimes in the name of pseudo religious justifications as well , by not allowing daughters to decide to do things as they wish.

We need to realize no human being can control another soul. We also fail to realize that what we are doing is trying to manufacture a person according to some preset specifications. Elders can and must give suggestions, some guidance, sometimes even advice out of their experience, concern, compassion, interest etc but too much of interference in every move or decisions of the life of a girl child especially is contributing subconsciously to create a sense of diffidence, sense of insecurity and inferiority.

If anyone has bothered to do a real research, not one guided by text books, mostly written by foreign authors, by merely observing the behavior, smartness of women, one would be surprised to find that many girls who had irresponsible parents and not subjected to too much of social conditioning in the name of taboos etc turn out to be more street smart, more creative, more confident, more adjusting, more sociable etc.

The most interesting part of upbringing and parenthood is enjoy the fun of growing along with them, by all means offering them all the opportunities that one can afford; interacting with them with interest and involvement; adjusting and learning with them, reciprocating and rejoicing with them informing through love your preferences, prejudices, priorities, perceptions and respond with equal respect to their priorities and perceptions which may look uninteresting, illogical, useless, irritating,  insipid etc but then they could be feeling the same way about yours.

How can you expect a small girl not to have certain feelings which you think are the exclusive preserve of boys? Why should not they have similar feelings and aspirations? If only the hopeless, senseless and meaningless wastage that Indians splurge on marriages can be stopped, and that amount accumulated as an account, then, that can actually make India the richest country in the world.

The simple statement at the beginning also gives a peep into our pathetic mindset of not willing to come out of our past and not beginning to carry on life in the present moment in the present socio-political context.

We need realize that daughters look forward to your loving participation in their life not mere instructions and interferences.

2.    The marriage obsession

I wrote this in 1979 after attending a marriage and showed it to my father who agreed with the contents and not the affected and labored bombastic style but which was liked by many of my classmates then who laborious copied as we did not have computers at that time.

http://contentwriteups.blogspot.in/2009/04/marriage-bride-and-home.html

3.    Parenting

There are some excellent practical books like this  one ‘Your Growing Child: From Birth to Adolescence By David Fontana’

http://contentwriteups.blogspot.in/2014/12/parenting.html

http://contentwriteups.blogspot.in/2014/01/parenting-and-youth.html

http://contentwriteups.blogspot.in/2013/07/teenagers-parenting-hormonal-rush.html

http://contentwriteups.blogspot.in/2013/01/parenting-and-individual-souls-liberty.html

Life or product

                    Life or product

From the time I am born I become a product for my society, unfortunately even for my parents. I need to be told how to behave which includes as to how to sit, how to comb my hair, what dress to wear, never to argue, listen to all advises from all corners.

The justification of my not being allowed to lead a life and live a life is purportedly because ultimately I must be dispatched as a proper product -good looking, well educated, earning enough, well behaved [which means being silent and putting up a half smile that too only when allowed], aware of and agreeing to all the traditional and religious requirements [visiting temples or churches and be thorough with the religious scriptures irrespective of whether I understand them, like them or follow them] and social obligations [which means never to get in touch with my old friends of both sexes and to put on only sanctioned hair styles and approved attire] and family obligations [which require that I lose even the right to visit my own parents].

I hope by now all of you have identified the product it is the girl child meant for a probable and unknown customer to whom sometimes she is offered with additional incentives [ it is like if you buy  car you take a TV free] like dowry.

This customer may use me as a software to fulfill the required apps of his life like cooking for him, begetting him a child, taking care of the child, nowadays earn as well, and sometimes worse still, taking care of his entire family [like his mother, father, brothers and sisters etc] or use me as an hardware, or a monitor, or a mouse, or a keyboard or a mere laptop bag, or a chair to sit on and do his work.

Still from time immemorial the whole bunch of this androcentric {1} society [consisting of fervent preachers of women’s liberation freedom etc] has had no qualms about creating and using this product and in many cases the products themselves willingly worked up to great levels to satisfy the customers and in many cases the worst enemies of women have been other women.

I appeal through this write up to all the parents to start treating the daughters as human beings with freedom to have their own right to explore, experience and enjoy life as they want to, of course ensuring to help them, guide them when required and honor their wishes too.

In your enthusiasm to create a proper product for the matrimonial market do not deprive the girls the joys of living and deny yourself the joy of loving them grow and watch their soul blossom freely and experience the joy of life.

For all the unbiased observers nature is taking a sweet revenge that more and more girls are born who are outshining and outwitting their male counter parts and I have no doubt  that woman power may gradually start making a more  assertive as well as amiable contribution for human development.

I am a life by myself neither to be groomed for the matrimonial requirements nor a broom to clean up others miseries.

By nature I can reciprocate love and live.

{1} http://contentwriteups.blogspot.in/2009/04/androcentric.html and http://contentwriteups.blogspot.in/2009/04/women-of-india.html