Living, growing up and settling down what
do they mean?
Life in its very essence means lively so it cannot settle
down. Settling down is a loosely used and well accepted terminological contradiction.
Life has neither a pause button nor is it a pass it on
baton [1].
Everything is part of life and not apart from life and therefore
cannot be kept apart for a future date or an assumed future condition.
Life may be very broadly viewed as involving two major aspects
survival [physical, social, material, psychological etc] aspects of life and living
aspects of life [observing, enjoying and experiencing life as it unfolds].
However this sort of high sounding philosophy is not
meant as a sermon and need not distract anyone from pursuing planned living
geared towards certain practical better survival aspects.
Growing up and growing out of certain things are natural
process of evolutionary metamorphosis both biologically and psychologically.
In life many things or to be precise everything is a step
or part but not a stop.
However , we are at liberty to create our own labels and
definitions of settling down mostly used or abused by referring to mean
material comforts alone through which we presume some social respectability is
gained.
"The simplicities of natural laws
arise through the complexities of the language we use for their expression."-
Eugene Wigner
"Abandon the urge to simplify everything, to look for formulas and easy answers, and to begin to think multidimensionally, to glory in the mystery and paradoxes of life, not to be dismayed by the multitude of causes and consequences that are inherent in each experience -- to appreciate the fact that life is complex."- M. Scott Peck
Though no one can find fault with a notion which is predominant
enough to influence and impact various aspects of life leading to multiple
complexes, comparisons, competitions, capability enhancement etc.
All of these have their positive as well as negative
implications of varying degrees of intensities swinging between extremes like
enhanced performances, pride, privileges to sulking suicidal tendencies.
While the positive outcomes bring joy and are welcome we
need to address the negatives.
But having taken a coin can we avoid one side or can we
avoid the coin itself no?
Our problem is mostly in either knowing the value of the
coin or increasing its value, here finding the meaning and purpose of life or
trying to define something or things as meaningful or purposeful or trying to
improve or increase this purpose and meaning of life.
We can avoid the unpleasant
consequences of ‘settling down’ if we have a better understanding of the inevitable
facts and infuse more substance into whatever we are doing rather trying to superficially
substantiate our position or seeking others' attention to acknowledge it.
Comprehensive analysis hoping that it would lead to
better understanding inevitably makes write ups long and therefore meant for
people with time, interest and inclination to know much deeper rather than
pandering to like button pressers, avid forwarders, abbreviation lovers.
I firmly believe at least while discussing certain
subjects in what Dobelli says, ‘In the Art of Thinking clearly’ "With
journalists, it is more difficult. Some have acquired true knowledge. Often
they are veteran reporters who have specialized for years in a clearly defined
area. They make a serious effort to understand the complexity of a subject and
to communicate it. They tend to write long articles that highlight a variety of
cases and exceptions.”
"Existence consists
in the interplay of a plurality of elements whose true nature is indescribable
and whose source is unknown. Combinations of these elements instantaneously
flash into existence and instantaneously disappear, to be succeeded by new
combinations of elements appearing in a strict causality." - Earle Ernst, The
Kabuki Theatre
In the back ground of these simple and basic facts we
need to go about unraveling more intrinsic aspects of life in much deeper ways and
try to understand a little more about life and what happens while we live it [
not brushing aside anything through sermons
as dos and don’ts or as traditions and taboos].
While doing this as I always maintain that we cannot
avoid:- our vulnerability or accountability to existing manufactured belief systems;
social mores or morals either inculcated or enforced in whichever
place/region/society we are born and brought up; the ideas/opinions churned out
in various field either relevant or irrelevant but exist out there and brought
within the radar of our attention and all these subjected to our limited perception
and unlimited bias, inflated egos and lack of humility.
Along with these we must also realize that most of our
actions and reactions are based on our inherent/innate/natural attributes, the
inevitable context/situation/circumstance in which we are in and our attitude
[s] towards everything and everyone based on these or despite these.
It is also a fact that based on these we always end up
acting or reacting with actions, words, thoughts etc according to what we want,
what we can and what we are destined to do.
So, there is a perennial duel going on between inner
forces/weakness and external influences and impacts.
Life’s journey is a constant process of learning and
adjusting to these and carrying on with various balancing acts, involving lot
of choices and decisions, which have a generous spread of synonyms to justify like
inevitable confirmations, flexibilities, hypocrisies, diplomacies, social accommodation,
disciplined life, socio-cultural compatibility etc.
All fields of human knowledge systems and actions help us
with accumulated knowledge of processes to facilitate us in our choices and
decisions be it religion, politics, science or socio cultural frames of
functioning.
We must be able to steer clear of all unwanted
distraction when we exercise our choice or take decisions to ensure that they
give pleasure to or improve us physically, psychologically or spiritually
without harming, or sometimes with the least possible harm to, society and
environment and all life forms. In short ensure intrinsic value additions to
all or some of the facets of life mentioned above.
"To make progress in understanding
all this, we probably need to begin with simplified (oversimplified?) models
and ignore the critics' tirade that the real world is more complex. The real
world is always more complex, which has the advantage that we shan't run out of
work."- John Ball, 1984, Memes as Replicators, Ethology and Sociobiology, Vol. 5
Inevitably I will be giving lot of links to many of my
earlier write ups which again lead to other links because I feel that way I
need not repeat and also these links will hopefully lead to more comprehensive
understanding and meant for people with time, interest and inclination to know
much deeper rather than pandering to like button pressers, avid forwarders,
abbreviation lovers.
Like with everything else
this concept of ‘settling down’ carries different crazy connotations, exerts
various pressures and exacts varying degrees of sacrifice and or postponement of
life’s joys and experiences depending on the economic conditions and
socio-cultural pressures etc.
In certain societies the
competitions, comparisons and pressures are so enormous on everyone that it
leads to various manifestations of stress, frustrations, fights etc and end ups
depriving life of its happiness, peace, joy etc.
I am tempted to imitate an excellent and famous verse by Rabindranath
Tagore
“Where The Mind Is Without Fear :
Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake”. –by Rabindranath Tagore
My imitated version of verse titled
Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake”. –by Rabindranath Tagore
My imitated version of verse titled
‘Living life and setting down in life’
Where life is lived and leads us out of
these compulsions:
Where life is made to pass through motions
of /phases of existence
So that
it can settle down somehow, somewhere in some way;
Where life’s activities have to confirm to
existing approved labels;
Where life is deprived of any unbiased free
observations;
Where life’s relationships are confined by
narrow expectations of reciprocation;
Where life is subjected to scrutiny with ulterior
motives and hidden agendas;
Where life’s interactions happen with
lurking suspicions and simmering discontent;
Where life’s inter relatedness goes unnoticed
because of narrow identity cages;
Let us live a life observing, experiencing
and enjoying as it unfolds continuously flowing like a gentle river without
settling down;
Let us enjoy the playful innocence of
childhood;
Let us enjoy the carefree abandon of youth;
Let us learn the pleasures, privileges and
responsibility of blossoming adulthood;
Let us enjoy romance and relate with love;
Let us experience the inter relatedness of
everything and everyone;
Let nature/fate decide to settle down life
by stopping oxygen supply.
At the outset I would like to make it clear in any topic/many
topics while judging and exploring the facts we must desist getting distracted
from the following major traps :-
1] Mutilating the facts,
2] Analyzing them with preconceived notions or prejudices,
3] Generalizing the particular and particularizing the general,
4] Approaching facts with unloving criticism or uncritical love,
5] Evaluating facts with our pet isms or philosophies,
6] Resorting to statistical justifications,
7] Unleashing unworkable utopia,
8] Mask them with logical fallacies,
9] Bury them in pleasant jargons, and
10] Give historical justifications.
Our attitudes are a matter
of evaluations.
Attitudes are formed as a
result of this ongoing process of evaluations. We all constantly evaluate
everything, everyone and various aspects of our environment. So to ensure
correct attitude we must analyze what are the tools with which/basis on which
we evaluate? The methods we adopt to evaluate? And how we evaluate? All these,
in turn, will determine to a great extent our attitude in most of the cases.
This will also give us an
idea whether our attitude influences our behavior or our behavior influences
our attitude.
Evaluate the purpose of
life by the amount of happiness you have given to others.
Evaluate the value of life
by the extent you have been useful to others.
Evaluate the meaning of
life by the love you give to others.
Evaluate the destiny of
life by the amount of love you get from others.
Evaluate the quality of
your life by your attitudes.
Evaluate the wisdom of your
life by the experience you have gained and the lessons you have learnt and the
knowledge you have acquired from your experiments and actions.
Evaluate the worthiness of
your life by the amount of or extent of realizations you have had.
Evaluate the totality of
life not by owning anything or even trying to own life itself but by living
life.
But the best way to evaluate
life is to live it.
And you live based on what
you have and who you are.
Inherent fallibility of our perception or what we presume to
be our perception.
“It is not often our perception but the
scale of observation and frames of reference which create the phenomenon. The
scale of observation depends on man; it is he who creates it. In nature,
different scales of observation do not exist. There is only one immense,
harmonious phenomenon on a scale which, in general, escapes man. The structure
of man's brain necessitates dividing into arbitrary compartments and cutting up
into isolated pieces. With the aid of several instruments science creates more
phantasmagoria: ‘on our scale of human observation, as pointed out before, the
edge of a razor-blade is a continuous line. On the microscopic scale, it is a
broken but solid line. On the chemic scale we have atoms of iron and carbon. On
the sub-atomic scale we have electrons in perpetual motion which travel at the
rate of several thousand miles per second. All these phenomena are in reality
the manifestations of the same basic phenomenon, the motions of the electrons.
The only difference which exists between them is the scale of observation’"
[Human Destiny, Lecomte du Nuoy- a marvelous book that everyone must read
All beings and things on
earth have evolved with some purpose either obvious or not so obvious [I cannot
say hidden or mysterious or esoteric then my motives will be questioned] to
enable everyone to experience and explore the unmapped atlas of life and enjoy
the journey of life in the process.
Let everyone choose the
vehicles or tools of their choice or taste or temperament to engage in this
exploration and there are neither any fit all vehicles nor can there be any
compulsion to use only certain specific tools to be used. So let no one sit on
judgment on any tool or vehicle.
It was these intolerances
and restrictions which have delayed the progress of science, prevented human
growth through many restrictive religiously imposed rules and rituals and
certain political ideologies.
Let us not pollute
everything with what we think to be the only way to approach anything nor view
everything in life through the prism of our ideological fixations nor influence
them through our fixed identities.
Everything fits in as some
piece in the jigsaw puzzle of life’s purpose and therefore no person or thing
can move around in vague inanity without identity nor are there any
restrictions from liberating or switching over to other identities.
Yes identities inevitably
tend to be labeled and defined and in turn they too define and describe the
person or thing that they impact or influence. Each identity has also in its
intrinsic fiber some inbuilt sanctity and self defense mechanism.
Very often the notion of settling down is the result of
human beings inability to avoid or go beyond the fundamental animal instincts.
Along with position complexes
emerge. A cat cannot be a lion or tiger though it comes in the same family. It
comes to the lower level. When they are together there is complex between them.
Similar with humans I think.
Along with position and level, complex feeling is there. Along with richness in
finance, knowledge, beauty, or some sort a self induced complex is created. It
is an animal feeling that humans are not able to shed which is natural.
Here are some of the links which may have either a direct
relevance or remote connection to the topic because the topic is about life.
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