There are
thousands of stories and real life examples, in many cases within our own
families. But in practicality, unfortunately, especially in the present
generation where there is more aberration, pompous celebration and selfie
adoration, momentary attraction etc real feelings and values have take a back
seat. All relationships are causality in these circumstances.
Many people have
different views and approaches to what they want to be used for, preferences as
to by whom they want to be used and why they want to be used, even if such usage is demeaning or degrading or outright
criminal and immoral under normal
circumstances.
The perspective
has veered away from being useful to being used; from being part of a relationship
to remaining apart without active participation; from being co-operative and coordinating
to complaining, comparing or competing.
Meanings of
most relationships have become demeaning. That’s why we see the institution of
families which used to function despite all the fights, difference of opinions,
irritations, hypocritical and atrocious one sided compromises etc have been replaced
with more homes for the aged, more baby care/day care centers, more divorce courts, more murders by
paramours, some remedial steps like more step parents etc.
The whole
fabric of human life as a social being beyond a mere biological creature hinges
on the value of relationship and the ability to value relationships.
Very cruel and
brutal animals in human forms leave their children in dust bins and disappear; some
leave their parents in old age homes and leave.
I am neither
passing any judgment on anything as right or wrong nor am I holding any
individual of any gender responsible for the situation we are in. Nor am I blaming
any life style imperatives for these sorry states of affairs.
But I can
clearly say it is a sorry state of affairs and unless and until every
individual peeps into the consciousness, has clarity about the priorities in
choices and commitments with regard to relationships human life will decay
further and more and more crimes will crop up than contributors to welfare of
family, society, humanity etc.
Besides everyone
is more bothered about getting their expectations, reasonable, exaggerated and
with measures of expectations which are variable from time to time according to
what or with whom the comparisons take place.
Everyone one is
expected to have good looks and complexion as per certain yardsticks, work in a
respectable post or position, earn a lot, own a business, available for all
domestic activities , must not entertain
any hobby that does not fetch revenue or is not liked by the others etc.
In some cases
people would be more happy if they lived in malls with unlimited credit card; In
some cases a perennially open bars or pubs; In some cases always rolling in bed
with some flesh contact; In some cases at ATM outlet which pours out currency
notes nonstop; Sometimes a bouquet vendor who delivers bouquets everyday to satisfy attention seeking addiction; Sometimes a
cook who cooks very nice tasty food every six hours; Sometimes expected to be
like a tourist cab owner , whose profession is to keep on, visiting some
tourist spots; Sometimes a baby sitter who can take care of the babies; Sometimes
a very traditional or orthodox religious person who is meticulous about
observing all rituals; Sometimes a model who dresses always as if to pose for a
photo shoot; Expected to participate in all social, family and regional
obligations as prescribed etc.
Relationships
are spoiled by allowing many extraneous things/in some cases people to creep in
and also by our own creepy attitude.
Primarily a sense
of caring, sharing and compassion must be fundamental part of all relationships
everywhere, be it in the family, work place or society. These must be
accompanied with honest concern and communication.
I am talking
about the basics of all types of normal or ordinary relationships in general
and not extremes of lust lorries or lovely relationships.
Involvement is
not interference; being bothered about what someone related to you is not
prying but concern. Proper and normal verbal communication and basic emotional
understanding is enough to strengthen relationship. To know and do all these we
do not need any religious or cultural teachings and preaching.
It is stupid saying
that familiarity breeds contempt, it can probably initiate attempt in some cases
but in most cases it leads to better understanding and reciprocal admiration, help
etc. I was very familiar with my parents
as long as they were alive for some decades and I was also doing many things
that they would have never wanted me to do but there was never any contempt on
either side.
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