Search This Blog

Saturday, July 6, 2013


Can You Hear Me?
We talk with people all day, every day. In his book, The Mozart Effect, Don Campbell quotes a survey that says 'listening absorbs an average of 55 percent of our daily communication time, while speaking occupies 23 percent, reading 13 percent, and writing just 9 percent'.

The time to stop talking 
is when the other person 
nods his head affirmatively 
but says nothing.
- Henry Haskins

Campbell goes on the say that 'listening is active, while hearing is passive'. This means that I could say something to you and then ask 'Did you hear me?' You could honestly say you heard me, and maybe even repeat some of the words. But the difference is that if you weren't 'listening' (actively), you may have missed the message contained in those words. Don Campbell also says 'faulty listening is the underlying cause of many difficulties in personal, family and business relationships'.

Listening is a magnetic
and strange thing,
a creative force.
The friends who listen to us
are the ones we move toward.
When we are listened to,
it creates us,
makes us unfold and expand.
- Karl Meninger

So if we are not listening, what are we doing? Many experts say that we are formulating what we are going to say when it's our turn to talk. We have stopped actively listening and started to plan our rebuttal to your position. Communication is a two way street that requires focus and attention from everyone. Lose the focus and you lose the communication. Lose the communication and you lose the understanding. Lose the understanding and soon you lose the relationship.

In his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, Stephan Covey says that 'you should seek first to understand and then be understood'.
- Joe Freeman

So when you are listening to somebody,
completely, attentively,
then you are listening not only to the words,
but also to the feeling of what is being conveyed,
to the whole of it,
not part of it.
- Jiddu Krishnamurti

No comments: