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Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Laws for Government Officers

Laws for Government Officers

Advanced Systems News Letter---
The nail that sticks up gets hammered down.

Abbott's Admonitions
If you have to ask, you're not entitled to know.
If you don't like the answer, you shouldn't have asked the question.

Acheson's Rule of the Bureaucracy
A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.

Rule of Accuracy
When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.
Corollary - Provided, of course, that you know there is a problem.

Cayo's Law
The only things that start on time are those that you're late for.

Comin's Law
People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.

Committee Rules
Never arrive on time, or you will be stamped a beginner.
Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this stamps you as being wise.
Be as vague as possible; this prevents irritating the others.
When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.
Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you popular -- it's what everyone is waiting for.

Rule of Failure
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you have tried.

Law of Friendship
Anyone who is popular is bound to be disliked.

Koppett's Law
Whatever creates the greatest inconvenience for the largest number must happen

Nixon's Rule
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Peter's Placebo
An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance

Peter's Paradox
Employees in a hierarchy do not really object to incompetence in their colleagues.

Peter's Observation
Super-competence is more objectionable than incompetence.

Law of Triviality
The time spent on any item of the agenda will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved.

Wilcox's Law
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.

Zimmerman's Law of Complaints
Nobody notices when things go right.

Zusmann's Rule
A successful symposium depends on the ratio of meeting to eating.

Zymurgy's Law of Volunteer Labour
People are always available for work in the past tense.

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