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Tuesday, August 27, 2013

The Basic Principals of Operations Management

The Basic Principals of Operations Management

Validated daily by experiences of working folks everywhere…

Allen’s Axiom:
When all else fails, read the instructions.

Chisholm’s Law:
Anytime things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something.

Corrigan’s Theorem or “Jam Side Down”:
If there is more than one way in which a system can operate, it will usually operate the wrong way.

Finagle’s Law:
Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse.

Fitzgibbon’s Law:
Creativity varies inversely with the number of cooks involved with the broth.

Fitzgibbon’s Corollary:
The number of problems encountered during a project is directly proportional to N squared, where N is equal to the number of people involved.

Flaple’s Law of the Perversity of Inanimate Objects:
Any inanimate object, regardless of its composition or configuration, may be expected to perform at any time in a totally unexpected manner for reasons that are either entirely obscure or completely mysterious.

Gummidge’s Law:
The amount of expertise available for a given project varies in inverse proportion to the statement understood by the general public.

Gumperson’s Law:
The probability of a given event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

Horner’s Five Thumb Postulate:
Experience varies directly with the value of the equipment ruined.

Kyrie Liason:
If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, then you don’t understand the problem.

Maslow’s Maxim:
If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to treat everything as though it were a nail.

Murphy’s Law:
If anything can go wrong – it will.

Occam’s Razor:
The simplest explanation of any phenomena is probably the correct one.

Parkinson’s Law:
The time required for a project varies to maintain the utilization of the manpower allocated close to one-hundred percent.

Patrick’s Theorism:
If the experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.

Perdin’s Law:
In a crisis that forces a choice to be made among alternative courses of action, most people will choose the worst one possible.

Porteous’s Proposition:
One million times nothing – is still nothing.

Richard’s Rule:
When all else fails, fake it.

Ross’s Law:
Never characterize the importance of a statement in advance.

Salute to Nixon (remember him?):
Quit when you’re still behind.

Shanahan’s Law:
The length of a meeting rises with the square of the number of people attending.

Sod’s Law (Prevails when Flaple’s Law does not hold):
In any given set of circumstances, events will combine to provide the maximum of inconvenience for the greatest number of people.

Skinner’s Constant:
That quantity which when multiplied times, divided by, added to, or subtracted from the answer you got – gives you the answer you should have gotten in the first place.  Also known as Finnegan’s Finagling Factor.

The Compensation Corollary:
The experiment may be considered a success if no more than fifty percent of the observed measurements must be discarded to obtain a correspondence with theory.

The Futility Factor:
No experiment is ever a complete failure.  It can always serve as a bad example.

The Ninth Law:
The simpler, smaller and less ambitious a project is – the harder it is to justify, the harder it is to implement and the less well it will perform.

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