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Tuesday, August 27, 2013

New Words

“New Words”

For the four of you who have never seen this before – or those of you who have but don’t remember diddly-squat about it, the following “new” words are pretty creative.  I’ll leave the next paragraph just as I got it (and essentially the way it’s been appearing in e-mails, blogs and web sites for the past few years) if you’ll promise to read the brief clarification at the end of the word list.  Thanx…

Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the 2005 winners:

1 Cashtration

The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2 Ignoranus

A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3 Intaxication

Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realizea it was your money to start with.

4 Reintarnation

Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5 Bozone

The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6 Foreploy

Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7 Giraffiti

Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8 Sarchasm

The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9 Inoculatte

To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10 Hipatitis

Terminal coolness.

11 Osteopornosis

A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12 Karmageddon

It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

13 Decafalon

The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

14 Glibido

All talk and no action.

15 Dopeler effect

The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

16 Arachnoleptic fit

The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

17 Beelzebug

Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

18 Caterpallor

The colour you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

**Clarification – It appears that this is likely from the Washington Post but it doesn’t have anything to do with Mensa.  It is apparently from a weekly “Style Invitational” feature that has been running for a bunch of years in the WP.  The date of this particular item is likely not 2005 and may have been as early as 1998.  Dunno for sure…  Anyway, thanx Washington Post – I think –for the neat new words!  (OK, so this is sort of a half-assed “clarification”.  I do what I can do…)

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