Anonymous one-liners:
1. A
blank page is God's way of showing you how hard it is to be God.
2. A
bore is a person who brightens a room simply by leaving it.
3. A
bore is someone who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.
4. A
closed mouth gathers no feet.
5. A
complete catastrophe includes not learning from the experience.
6. A
conference is a way of postponing a decision.
7. A
diamond is a chunk of coal that made good under pressure.
8. A
genius is one who shoots at something no one else can see, and hits it.
9. A
good sermon leaves you wondering how the preacher knew all about you.
10.
A man is known by the company he avoids.
11.
A mind is like a parachute: it only functions
when it is open.
12.
A person who has a right to boast doesn't have
to.
13.
A person who walks in another's tracks leaves no
footprints.
14.
A smile confuses an approaching frown.
15.
A steady salary is an invitation to mediocrity.
16.
A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
17.
A tree never hits an automobile except in
self-defense.
18.
A wise man knows everything; a shrewd one,
everybody.
19.
A wish is a desire without an attempt.
20.
After all is said and done, more is said than
done.
21.
All men are self-made, but only the successful
will admit it.
22.
Always put off until tomorrow the things you
shouldn't do at all.
23.
An endurance test for some people is the pursuit
of happiness.
24.
An excuse is often substituted for reason.
25.
As a rule, a quitter isn't a very good beginner
either.
26.
As every thread of gold is valuable, so is every
moment of time.
27.
As you grow older, you stand for more and fall
for less.
28.
Better aim at a star than shoot down a well;
you'll hit higher.
29.
Death and taxes may be certain, but we don't
have to die every year.
30.
Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a
matter of choice.
31.
Doing nothing gets pretty tiresome because you
can't stop and rest.
32.
Don't give other people a piece of your mind
unless you can afford it.
33.
Don't wait for your ship to come; swim out to
it.
34.
Don't worry too much about what people think,
because they seldom do.
35.
Don't wrestle with pigs; you get dirty and they
enjoy it.
36.
Education is learning a lot about how little you
know.
37.
Education should include knowledge of what to do
with it.
38.
Every accomplishment starts with the decision to
try.
39.
Every person in the world is either a missionary
or a mission field.
40.
Every survival kit should include a sense of
humor.
41.
Few blame themselves until they have exhausted
all other possibilities.
42.
Flowers are the poetry of earth, as stars are
the poetry of heaven.
43.
Footprints on the sands of time are never made
by sitting down.
44.
For people who like peace and quiet; a phoneless
cord.
45.
Foresight is knowing when to shut your mouth
before someone suggests it.
46.
Free advice generally costs more than the other
kind.
47.
Frustration is when you have ulcers but still
aren't a success.
48.
Go as far as you can see, and when you get
there, you will see farther.
49.
Happiness is often the result of being too busy
to be miserable.
50.
He was a how thinker, not an if thinker.
51.
He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles
from the next exit.
52.
Hear the other side.
53.
Horsepower was a wonderful thing when only
horses had it.
54.
Hyperpolysyllabicomania is a fondness for big
words.
55.
I shot an arrow into the air, and it stuck.
56.
I wash everything on the gentle cycle. It's much
more humane.
57.
I'll always cherish the initial misconceptions I
had about you.
58.
I've tried relaxing, but - I don't know - I feel
more comfortable tense.
59.
If God is your partner, make your plans large.
60.
If at first you do succeed - try to hide your
astonishment.
61.
If it isn't one thing, it's another, unless it's
neither.
62.
If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would
get done.
63.
If people said what they thought, most
conversations would be very brief.
64.
If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.
65.
If you chase two rabbits, both will escape.
66.
If you do what you've always done, you'll get
what you've always gotten.
67.
If you want a place in the sun, you've got to
expect a few blisters.
68.
In a negotiation, he who cares less, wins.
69.
In every fat book there is a thin book trying to
get out.
70.
Is life worth living? That depends on the liver.
71.
It is better to how nothing than to learn
nothing.
72.
It makes no difference whether you win or lose
until you lose.
73.
It seems confusing that narrow-minded people are
thick headed.
74.
It was such a primitive country we didn't even
see any joggers.
75.
It's easy to get lost in thought if it's not
familiar territory to you.
76.
It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't
remember anything.
77.
Knowledge become power only when we put it into
use.
78.
Knowledge is not what the pupil remembers but
what he cannot forget.
79.
Live not for time, but eternity.
80.
Man has now conquered almost everything in
nature except human nature.
81.
Many men boast of having an open mind, when it
is only vacant.
82.
Misers make wonderful ancestors.
83.
Most people know how to keep silent but few of
us know when.
84.
My mind's made up - don't confuse me with the
facts.
85.
Never engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed
person.
86.
Never let a computer know you're in a hurry.
87.
Never let your studies interfere with your
education.
88.
Never mistake endurance for hospitality.
89.
No dream comes true until you wake up and go to
work.
90.
Nothing of importance is ever done without a
plan.
91.
Nothing relieves the monotony of a job like
finding ways to improve it.
92.
Old mufflers never die, they just get exhausted.
93.
Old termites never die. They just get board and
lumber on.
94.
Patience is what you require when the fish are
not hungry.
95.
Patton's Law: A good plan today is better than a
perfect plan tomorrow.
96.
People who can agree on what's funny can usually
agree on other things.
97.
People will believe anything if you whisper it.
98.
Plan for today as well as for tomorrow.
99.
Plan in marble if you would work in stone.
100.
Plan your work. Work your plan.
101.
Punctuality is disappointing if no one is there
to appreciate it.
102.
Reforms come from the bottom. No man with four
aces requests a new deal.
103.
Regarding trade relations, most people would
like to.
104.
Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies
& to the john.
105.
Science opens to us the book of nature; comedy,
the book of human nature.
106.
Secular education can make men clever, but it
cannot make them good.
107.
Self-determination is fine but needs to be
tempered with self-control.
108.
Silence is golden when you can't think of a good
answer.
109.
So far the only successful substitute for brains
is silence.
110.
So near and yet so what?
111.
Some men go through a forest and see no
firewood.
112.
Some people cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
113.
Some people jump to conclusions while others dig
for facts.
114.
Some peoples heads are particularly suited to
handle empty praise.
115.
Some pursue happiness - others create it.
116.
Someday is not a day of the week.
117.
Sometimes we are limited more by attitude than
by opportunities.
118.
Sometimes we miss happiness by looking too far
for things nearby.
119.
Spellers of the world, untie!
120.
Stand still and silently watch the world go by -
and it will.
121.
Strategy is when you run out of ammunition but
keep firing anyway.
122.
Success comes before work only in the
dictionary.
123.
Success is more dependent on the backbone than
the wishbone.
124.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
125.
The beginning of wisdom is silence. The second
step is listening
126.
.
127.
The best way to bluff is to keep your mouth
shut.
128.
The biggest block to any man's success is in his
head.
129.
The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand
that does not grasp.
130.
The closest anyone ever comes to perfection is
on a job application form.
131.
The difference between genius and stupidity is
that genius has its limits.
132.
The fire of glory is the torch of the mind.
133.
The foolish and the dead are the only ones who
never change their opinion.
134.
The hardest work is being idle.
135.
The heart of education is the education of the
heart.
136.
The inability to make a decision has often been
passed off as patience.
137.
The man who wakes up and finds himself famous
hasn't been asleep.
138.
The most effective answer to an insult is
silence.
139.
The nicest thing about the future is that it
comes one day at a time.
140.
The person who sings his own praise is probably
a soloist.
141.
The person who thinks too little usually talks
too much.
142.
The person with nothing to do always gives it
his personal attention.
143.
The relationship of editor to author is knife to
throat.
144.
The shortest distance between two points is
usually under repair.
145.
The silver lining is always easier to find in
someone else's cloud.
146.
The tanned appearance of many Londoners is not a
sunburn- it is rust.
147.
The two hardest things to handle in life are
failure & success.
148.
The way to kill time profitably is to work it to
death.
149.
The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the first
to be replaced.
150.
There are so many ways of being a fool that it's
hard to avoid them all.
151.
There is a difference between a reason that
sounds good and good reason.
152.
There is no right way to do a wrong thing.
153.
There is nothing like sealing a letter to
inspire a fresh thought.
154.
Those who are afraid of doing too much always do
too little.
155.
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from
happening at once.
156.
To err is human, but it is against company
policy.
157.
To get nowhere, follow the crowd.
158.
To get to heaven, turn right and keep straight.
159.
To have more, desire less.
160.
To reach a great height a person needs to have
great depth.
161.
Today's mighty oak is yesterday's little nut
that held its ground.
162.
Torture the data long enough and they will
confess to anything.
163.
Turn your stumbling blocks into stepping stones.
164.
We generally admire the wisdom of those who come
to us for advice.
165.
What I said never changed anyone. What they
understood did.
166.
What the fool does in the end, the wise man does
in the beginning.
167.
When a person is always right, there is
something wrong.
168.
When the going seems easy, you may be going
downhill.
169.
When you don't have an education, you've got to
use your brains.
170.
Why is there so much month left at the end of
the month?
171.
Wisdom consists of letting the non-essentials
pass by.
172.
Worry takes as much time as work and pays less.
173.
You can lead a car to a highway, but you can't
make it think.
174.
You can't steal second base and keep one foot on
first.
175.
You never have to worry about contradictions
when you stick to the facts.
176.
You're entitled to your own opinion, even if it
is wrong.
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