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Saturday, May 20, 2017

Sex -what it is ? Is it a delight or dilemma ?

1. I would like to broach this subject, which is hidden away through hypocrisies, taboos and morality.

2. However, before I proceed further I would like to appreciate your boldness and openness to discuss such subject in our society.

3. I would like to make certain general observations as to why none of us are able to address this topic adequately at all without some sort of uneasiness or hypocrisy or bias or all of these and many more irrelevant inhibitions.

4. What are all the mistakes that all of us commit that ensure that status quo of puerile projections, putrefied perspectives and petrified perceptions on this topic.

5. Some taboos are tirelessly tugged in through traditions and reinforced with religious righteousness.

6. Such taboos move from innocent compliance to ignorant reverence to irrational veneration.

7. Then, they gradually and helplessly hang as pendulums of moral standards swinging between logically fallacies and illogical fantasies leading to phobias [morbid fears] and philias [obsessive likings].

8. Any society which refuses to come out of the cocoon of all its religiously sanctioned traditions and rituals- whatever be the aura of greatness around them or the good intentions and practical utility as well in some case at the time of their initial or original evolution - cannot deal with the constantly changing and metamorphosing natural evolutionary trends of life.

9. At least educated people must refrain from looking for ancient scriptural justifications either as references to vindicate or reject or explain issues, problems, ideas in the present context.

10. Before we proceed on any topic we need to take into account certain inevitable laws of nature which as facts of life need to be repeated like breath whenever we deal with any issue.

11. They may be briefly classified as:-

A] Variety is not only the spice of life but the very source and necessity of living;

B] Every aspect [physical, psychological, emotional, social, spiritual etc] of every life [I mean living creature] has multiple dimensions and each dimension may have a multitude of dynamics inherent as well as capable of influencing the surroundings and generating its own context, or impacted by external influences and changes in contexts or situation to adopt harmoniously with the evolutionary trends in all spheres;

C] Besides all these, they also operate with varying degrees of intensities at different times;

D] Most importantly irrespective of whether one can observe these, perceive these or accept these, all these are inter-related and inter-connected and often inter-dependent as well in ways which need not always be decipherable to the logical and intellectual perceptions and interpretations because human perceptions by themselves are inherently fallible in many aspects.

E] So, we must tread very carefully while evaluating or judging anyone or anything by avoiding these things. While exploring the facts we must desist getting distracted from the following major traps:-
Mutilating the facts,
Analyzing them with preconceived notions or prejudices,
Generalizing the particular and particularizing the general,
Approaching facts with unloving criticism or uncritical love,
Evaluating facts with our pet isms or philosophies,
Resorting to statistical justifications,
Unleashing unworkable utopia,
Mask them with logical fallacies,
Bury them in pleasant jargons, and
Give historical justifications.

F] We must most importantly desist from extrapolating any belief, doctrine, edict, ideology, ism etc while evaluating anything.

12. Having observed all these when we discuss sex  we must close the door , I mean figuratively, to all the things which have only secondary importance because only then we can have clarity about what is sex?

13. Primary it is a natural physical aspect of all living species. However, in human beings it has to take into consideration civilized and humane aspects as well as refinement to harmoniously co- exist as social creatures with certain reasonable self restraints.

14. The above statement may sound over simplistic or overbearingly sermonizing but in reality it is too complex and involves a whole gamut of feelings from mere satisfaction of uncontrolled lust to expression of very nice and sophisticated love.

15] It may probably bring into focus my favorite quote from William James, “In the end nothing less than the whole of everything can be the truth of anything at all”.

16] These are all the complexities which render what has to be simple delight into a dilemma.

17] One need not fix its importance too simplistically like Henry Miller when he said, “Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant”.

18] Or one need not glorify it as some supra human feeling that needs a socially and religiously sanctified anointment with some paraphernalia.

19] First, most Indian parents need to be told that even in applied science subjects there is hardly any actual practical training. So, sex education definitely will not have practical experiments, it is just sex education and not sex training.

20] So, definitely the children, nowadays above 6 years-as the urge may surge at any time, must be slowly taught about various aspects of sex purely as a very important aspect of life.

21] Sex crept into the realm of morality very late in human history.

22] The following links will elaborate on various aspects referred to in the above write up. They are not mere words secreted as verbal diarrhea or opinions peddled to convince or to judge or justify anything as right or wrong but to enable one to take some balanced view of things with undiluted facts and reality.  

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