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Tuesday, August 29, 2017



We need to start from the beginning.

We need sex –education [not to be confused with training] in school without any hypocrisy and irrelevant cultural objections because we our life itself is due to the sexual act of some people.

What is the point in not even getting to know about the primary reality?

Are marriages mere socio-cultural package devised to increase the shelf life on some or any relationship?

Or are they trade off of many things to assure a future companionship?

Or are they real firming up of momentary romance or meaningful emotional bonding with some well defined roles and responsibilities?

Or are marriages mere contractual obligations involving a multitude of major compatibility factors ranging from the food, language, traditions, culture, physical pleasures, emotional understanding, intellectual comprehension, material comforts, social cohabitation etc beyond all the mumbo-jumbos and entertainments in the name of wedding ceremony?

I think the main stake holders, the boy and the girl involved must interact and try to place their prejudices and preferences frankly to know what are the areas of life in which they can adjust or compromise; whether the trade off of their time and other things for the compromises of either couple are reaping adequate returns /compensations; whether there is reciprocation and so on.

I also think some meaningful premarital exposure to all aspects of marital life beyond inviting relatives and selecting the dress must be allowed and if there are short comings at that juncture itself it is better to call it off.

Even after all the rehearsals on all aspects, as individuals either one of them may and can change in any area of life as a part of evolutionary inevitable metamorphosis, it depends on both of them as to how they handle the situation.

In this case, if the boy made the call and had the girl’s boy friend had picked up the phone and said she is a little high on drinks and also sends a photo of her hugging him in her shorts would the boy or his parents have accepted?

Most of us live our life through believe systems, concepts and ideology [and miss the charm of encountering and experiencing life with a child like curious involvement] wherein every belief system or ideology has its own rights and wrongs, strengths and weaknesses.

I would say nothing wrong in what the girl did. At least she was not hypocritical.

There was a news of a girl refusing to marry a boy because when she called his parents took the phone and said he was doing sandyavandhanam in the evening.

How many who have forwarded this message would prefer to get their daughter married to someone who has a nice tuft [kudumi], with diamond ear rings, wears only panchagacham and performs Sandyavandanam three times  a day?

Everyone has a right to follow their beliefs even if they are not in sync with any modern trends or expectation.

Similarly, everyone has a right to make a choice as per his/her wish.

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